Because we were painstaking during the insanity of our drinking, we were emotionally bankrupt before we were half way through. Alcohol, the magic elixir, gave us a new freedom and a new happiness. We didn't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it until the morning after. We comprehended the word, incomprehensible demoralization and knew what hell was. No matter how far down the scale we had gone, our experiences were always the fault of others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity were a constant reminder we needed another drink. We lost interest in our fellows and gained interest in selfish things. Self-seeking and manipulation were the cornerstone of our life. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life were based on delusion. Fear of people and of economic insecurity left us during blackouts. We intuitively knew how to create situations that would baffle us when we sobered up. We suddenly realized that alcohol was doing to us what We would never do to ourselves.
Are these extravagant consequences? Absolutely. They are being felt among us - sometimes with shame, sometimes with regret. All of them will materialize as our alcoholism progresses.
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